Singing the praises of a meatless wonder....

Last year, Stephanie, who works at Whole Foods, showed up with something special for the holidays, a Tofurky roast for our Christmas eve meal. The Turtle Island Tofurky web site touts its organic vegetarian roast, saying... "Made from a revolutionary tofu-wheat protein blend, Tofurky is known for its incredible, turkey-like texture and flavor."

I'm a vegetarian, but tofu is not my preferred source of protein. It's OK, but I don't love it. So I was reluctant to jump for joy at the prospect of a tofu-based turkey substitute. Let me also add that I don't particularly care for meat substitutes, products that try to imitate meat in taste and texture. So I was skeptical. But we followed the instructions and prepared our Tofurky.

It was delicious!

They got it right... the texture is firm but not chewy or dry. The stuffing inside is perfectly seasoned. The flavor is very pleasing, certainly the right compliment to all the holiday favorites we all know and love. They also provide a "mushroom gravy" which is quite tasty as well.
This year we served Tofurky again, this time with a fabulous dried cherry balsamic glaze, and it was pure bliss. With it I served a wild rice casserole, sweet potatoes baked with apples, cauliflower, a tossed salad and rolls.

Leftover are gone and sadly, I contemplate the unfortunate fact that Tofurky won't be in the stores much longer, until the next holiday season rolls around. I may need to zip out to the store and pick up another roast while I can!

MMmmmmmmm.... Tofurky!

Could I cut the rope? Thoughts on Saddam's pending execution...

Those who know me well will know that when conversation turns to politics or war I will very likely sit silently or walk away. Attempts they might make to lure me into the heated discussion will not be successful. It's not that I have no opinion on these things. In fact I do have many thoughts of my own, but I can hardly bear to let myself "go there"... so irretrievably unsettling, so deeply disturbing, so horribly divisive do I find these topics.

Over the years I've found myself unable to sleep if I watch the news before bedtime. I toss and turn things over in my head, what can I do to HELP... to bring peace, healing or goodness to a world where war, poverty, suffering and evil reap victories every day. My personal method of "attack" is to pour my attentions and efforts into small acts of caring and kindness. I don't expect to reverse the tide by flinging a single drop of water over the waves. But I do believe that in my own way, my existence CAN make the world a better place.

An old English saying goes: "For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of the shoe, the horse was lost. For want of the horse, the rider was lost. For want of the rider, the battle was lost. For want of the battle, the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail!"

So yes, I do agree that small things DO matter in life.

Today there is talk of Saddam's execution possibly occurring within days or weeks. The Iraqi court upheld the ruling that sentenced him to death for the crimes he committed against his own people. He is imprisoned in an American military prison and will be turned over to Iraqi authorities just before he is to be hanged.

Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki has said that those who oppose the execution of Saddam are insulting the honor of his slain victims. "Nothing and nobody can abrogate the ruling," al-Maliki said. "Our respect for human rights requires us to execute him, and there will be no review or delay in carrying out the sentence."

And hearing these things I then ask myself.... Dottie, would YOU be able to cut the rope? Would you be able to execute Saddam for his crimes against humanity?

No, I couldn't do it. And dear God, I hope that does not mean that I insult the honor of his victims, or that I respect human rights any less.

I'm ashamed of myself, but I'm being completely honest. It is not my right to take the life of any other person. He needs to suffer the consequences of his atrocities, he needs to be punished. But death is too final, too absolute. What if there is something greater at stake? What if there is a higher "court" that is able to see more completely the depths of this man's heart and innermost motives. Who am I to take what I did not give? LIFE...

There are American authorities, there are Iraqi authorities... but there is also a divine authority. This is His jurisdiction I believe. Until I can see with the same all-encompassing insight and know the ultimate whole story behind Saddam's mentality and personality, I have no right to usurp the divine agenda, which is to bring light to the darkest corners of the human soul. Is it my place to cut that short? To end his life would bring an end to the workings and turnings of his human mind and soul. Perhaps in time, a miniscule pinpoint of light could penetrate the blackness of the darkness inside him. For that reason alone, I would like to see him live.

Would it not honor those he killed, Prime Minister Al-Maliki, if one day Saddam was finally able to grasp the full horrific truth of his deplorable actions and bear that burden as his own? Would this not be the best outcome for all? It's a day that might never come to pass, but then again, it could. If a Higher Authority holds this possible, who am I to say it's not?

"God forgive them, they know not what they've done."

Perhaps this might be applied to both parties... Saddam and those who would seek his execution. I don't know... but these are the thoughts that twist inside me.

Holiday magic, in the least expected places....

Somehow, the holidays have become so chaotic. It's so nice to pause awhile and just enjoy TIME spent with loved ones...

Becki and Hope stopped by Christmas Eve. It's over a year since they've lived here. For the first four years of her life, ours was the only home Hope knew. She still remembers much of her time here, things she did here and how things were.

She ran into the bedroom and squealed "Remember I used to love to jump on the bed?" Of course I DO!!! Oh yes, she was quite the jumper... and she still is!

Here she's coming down for a landing....

Then a backward summersault....

Finally after a lot of jumping, we posed together....

Two silly girls... lots of giggles. This picture of her is so cute, that great big mouth! We were having the best time!

In my opinion, everyone in the world should know a child... and experience the world through that child's perspective for awhile, with complete abandon. It makes me think that the hours in the kitchen, and all the other holiday preparations, don't truly give us what we need most... those moments of magic and free-flowing love when we pause and enjoy all they hold in our hearts.
We open many pretty packages, but the best gifts are not found in boxes tied with ribbons. Look around... then feast on all the rich, deeply satifying moments we've been given to feed our hungry souls. The best presents of all are as those we love, and those who love us.

More to come... it's late and I'm very sleepy....

More naughty than nice, a surprise, and plotting revenge on my nemesis....

Christmas is around the corner... and finally I'm able to enjoy the billions of little things that make it so special. First I had to get WORK behind me. A large order (so nice to come by) was placed by a client two days ago and I've been hustling to get the mountain of paperwork DONE. (Paperwork is not fun for me, and this order alone required about 20 purchase orders, with incredible detail on each line. One mistake can cost me big bucks!) Working from home is something I really enjoy most of the time, but the down side is that it's always there... a room away, a few feet away, the stack of things to be done. But now, I'm officially CLOSED for the REST OF THE YEAR! Yes, it must be true, because the greeting on my answering machine says so! It's the best feeling, a kind of freedom that frees all my energies for things most important.

Growing up we had a "Christmas house"... all the decorations and lights outside, lots of special baking, loads of presents and a great big tree inside, and seven stockings up the staircase. It might sound very "Norman Rockwell", but it wasn't! It was chaotic, loud, crazy, messy and wild, but so much fun. My mother LOVED Christmas, loved to shop all year for presents for us... always with coupons, S&H stamps or sales of course. We were naughty more than nice. (Oh, all right, since Santa is watching I better not stretch the truth... I was naughty more than nice. My siblings were angels of course, ha ha ha ha... ) I recall fondly all the memories of my youth, but have kept my own decorating modest.

Surpise... !

Taking pictures of the tree, I caught myself reflected in the balls!

It feels good to make things special for my family. The pretty things I was working on, jewelry and bookmarks, are all finished. I still have the "Grinch gift" to make for my brother-in-law, Jeff.

Jeff - My Nemesis

Jeff and I have had an ongoing battle between us for 25 years and give each other the nastiest, most disgusting, distasteful, crudest gag gifts you ever saw. We will poke fun at every conceivable body part and body funtion, worse than school children. We pick on each other mercilessly. Every 4th of July he puts at least three ice cubes down my back when I'm not watching and threatens to drip hamburger juices on my veggie burger when he's grilling. He is HORRIBLE! I'm not sure how this started. My sister, Kathy, is the sweetest, most gentle person. She did nothing to instigate this ugly scenario, she washes her hands of it each year. It's out of control now, each Christmas the gag gifts get worse than the year before. I'm going to make (out of styrofoam, paint and mixed media) two pruney looking, crusty, hairy balls, stick them on a barbeque fork and attach a note... "Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire..." Oh my... how rotten, how deliciously MEAN!

I'm naughty, wicked to the core, my heart shrinking a few sizes each year... but I can't help myself, ha ha ha ha.... this will be GOOD!

Artifacts of an unused life? Questions about my clutter....

Paging through a magazine in a waiting room I stumbled upon an article... "Conquering Clutter", by David Dudley.

Clutter... it seems an endless battle, one I'm genetically programmed to lose. My father is a saver, a hoarder, a stasher, a stockpiler and a packrat. His basement and garage are jam packed to the rafters with boxes and heaps and stacks of STUFF... old stuff, parts of stuff, new unused stuff, you name it. But when something breaks, when something gets lost, he's always able to produce a replacement.

As a little girl I loved to sneak down to his workshop where I'd look, but not touch. He'd taken baby food jars, screwed the lids into the beams and filled each jar with screws, nuts, bolts and itty bitty gizmos of all kinds. At a glance he could look up and see what he needed through the bottom of the glass jar. He had things hanging and stacked everywhere, all very neat, all tools spotless and gleaming, but all so crowded.

(I loved the workshop area, dreamed of one day making things of my own there. Alas, I was a girl and never allowed. The closest I got to a power tool was to use a sewing machine or vacuum cleaner!)

Over the years, Dad's pack-ratting has taken over his house. I look at my house and all the things everywhere and wonder if it's my destiny too. He's 86, I'm 52 ... what will the next 34 years bring?

David Dudley writes... "The rarely used objects cluttering our lives are not really objects at all, but symbols of our plans and untapped potential. They are, as my father said while I hauled off a grill, 'artifacts of an unused life'."

Are all these things that create my clutter "artifacts of an unused life"? I beg to differ... I USE my clutter!

In my office (where I type this) on the desk tops are chargers for camera and phone, calculators, rolodex and a pile of files, active and pending. A stack of coins (because Steve always empties his pockets where he knows I'll find it and keep it!), a wad of Kleenex, two date books, one 2006 and one 2007, docking station for laptop, lamps, extra speakers with woofer for improved sound on this computer, other computer equipment, pictures of my kids, and three bags of fabric samples. And this is the tidy version!

My clutter seems to fall into a few categories.

* Things I'm working on.

* Things of beauty that I enjoy seeing around me.

* Things that are just part of daily life.

Dudley points out that Dante wrote about the "hoarders" and the "wasters", in his classic "Inferno". Both vices were doomed on one level of hell to battle it out. Perhaps it's the extreme, either way, that becomes our undoing.

I have too many projects, too much on my plate at any given time. I'm never bored! But I'm sometimes overwhelmed. If I'm not creating, everything in me feels out of balance. My mind needs to be always wrapped around something or someone. And so I surround myself with always a bit more than I can handle.

What if I were to complete EVERYTHING and be left with...:::gasp:::... NOTHING to do? Ha ha ha, as if that could ever happen. But deep in my psyche, I wonder if that's part of my madness. I do complete things... but always I have several books being read at once, several projects, several agendas. Why?

I'm doomed to this cycle of creating and destroying, as I create, something else (a tidy existence) is being destroyed.

Which brings me to the Designer of our universe... mathematicians, theologians and physicists debate two opposing theories, chaos vs. creation. I say that our world is the misbegotten love child of these two forces. Perhaps opposites do attract.

And perhaps I am made in the image of my Maker.

While I drive... masked bandits and treasures...

At a client's house this evening, she mentioned how she'd come to enjoy the time with her son, picking him up from school each day. She touched upon something I've considered several times in the past....

I'm in the car a lot. It's part of the job. I do the running around for clients and go to see them in their homes. Sometimes I travel with the client, or partner up with another designer to do a Mart excursion.

What is it about being in a car with someone, that makes such amazing conversations occur? Is it the small, confessional size of the interior? Is it that we are held hostage for a span of time, forced to listen to each other? Is it because we don't really look at each other, but face forward and enjoy the safe, illusionary mask of anonymity we both wear as we gaze out the window? Is it the view that makes our minds drift outside of ourselves, to places unvisited of late?

All I can tell you is that my time in the car, whether I am alone with my music, or in the company of friends or family, is time well spent.

The best part of it all is that the most special of moments come when you least expect them.

They sneak up on you like bandits, wearing Robin Hood garb, and steal riches from the moment and give them to you in large, bulky, soul-filled parcels to tuck safely away and enjoy again and again.

Sometimes our treasures grow while we're not looking, filling holes inside us, broken places, empty spaces...

Amazing, life-changing realizations can occur inside a car.
Meatloaf has a song "Objects In The Rear View Mirror" with a verse that goes...

"... Those were the rights of spring and we did everything. There was salvation every night. We got our dreams reborn and our upholstery torn, but everything we tried was right. She used her body just like a bandage. She used my body just like a wound. I'll probably never know where she disappeared, but I can see her rising up out of the back seat now just like an angel rising up from a tomb. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are..."

It's true... a backward look, brings the past close again, sometimes closer at second glance than it was the first time around.

Anyone care for a drive tonight? Let's go....:::smile:::.....

Wearing my jammies all day, surrounded by beads, baubles and Neil....

The hardest part of the holidays for me would be the shopping. I must be missing the female gene that runs rampant in most women. I don't care for shopping and don't like malls one bit! When I do shop, I prefer smaller stores, the local smaller groceries or health food stores, the smaller boutiques and the mom and pop operations. It does mean I pay a little bit more, but I feel quite good about what I'm getting for my money. You see, it's so much more than a product. It's the personal service, the support of local businesses which make this community what it is, and the belief in free enterprise. Sure, now and then I need the big box stores. But I need the touch stone of the heartland more.

And so... I struggle at Christmas. All year long I pick up things here and there when I see something for someone. More than likely, I will not have been able to wait until Christmas and will have given them the gift ahead of time! Some are silly personal things, things relating to a private joke and warm memoryies. I love giving presents and always feel a tinge of sadness when someone says "you shouldn't have"... but it doesn't stop me.

This Christmas, like last year, I'm making many of my gifts. I'd rather sit home a few hours and make something than face that traffic and long lines at the stores! Besides, it gives me enormous satisfaction.

Most of the females in my life will get jewelry. I have a bead obsession and have quite a collection, many of them vintage beads I've salvaged from old jewelry. I am always on the hunt for something spectacular and rare and unusual. My favorite finds to date are some carved coral beads with the most exquisite patina imaginable, and some crystal beads in unusual shapes and brilliance. I design jewelry around the beads, and seldom search for beads to make a particular design I have in mind.

People suggest I sell my jewelry all the time. I probably could sell it, if I had the time! These are my creations, really each one unique and special. If I made them for money would it change the results? I don't know.

Anyway... the necklace pictured here is one I made for myself. In the event anyone on my list should look at my blog, I don't want them to see their Christmas gift ahead of time! No peeking!
These beads are printed wood. And the focal bead is carved bone. Being a vegetarian I had to get past the "bone" idea... but it's so beautiful!

And so, I wore my jammies all day long and sat cross legged with my boxes of beads surrounding me as my creative juices flowed freely.

I listened to the new Neil Diamond album, since Rhapsody recommended it when I signed on today. Neil Diamond... he was popular when I was young, it had been years since I listened to his music. I was intriqued, what was he up to these days? I sat listening to his lyrics and noticed that he, like many song writers who have been writing songs a lifetime, has changed (and mellowed) over the years. His message these days is about love, enjoying life, and sticking by those you love.... and his faith in God.

Some might say artists like Neil Diamond have lost a creative edge. But see, I've grown up right alongside these artists (I'm thinking of Paul McCartney, Neil Young, Don Henley and others of my era) and I have changed right along with them. Life has lesons to teach us with each year that goes by, and it makes us oddly more humble of heart and prone to introspection... and ever so much more grateful. I'm ready to hear his messages, for the themes echo those of my own heart. And his melodies, as ever, are so pleasing to the ear, easy to be with., the kind that stay with you.

I have a memory of playing Neil Diamond's album, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, (one of the few that Steve didn't seem to mind) and twirling my girls, one at a time, in the living room as they giggled. The song was "Song Bird"....:::smile::::...

It's what I love about music.... the memories they stir....

Christmas party, cussing, and a plan....

Last Tuesday night our monthly book club met, for a wonderful Christmas celebration in Christine's home. Of all the holiday celebrations and activities scheduled this month, the promise of this one excited me most. We are seven women who came together to share an interest in reading, and found much, much more. We call each other "bookworms", "wormies" or "worms".... terms of endearment of course. We've become a sisterhood, a mingling of estrogen and brain pumping ions, as salty as a bunch of tattoo-covered sailors one moment and as ruthless as Murphy Brown in a room of cheer leaders the next. A quilting circle we are not. But perhaps we are more like quilters than you'd think... just a different kind of needling!

We "needle" with surgical precision, dissecting plot lines, analyzing characters, nothing is spared our scrutiny. And when we disagree (which is often) we only love each other more! We truly respect each other, and feel completely safe in saying anything at all when we are together.

I'm not quite as "wordly" as most in our group, never was one to speak out without being sensitive to the feelings of others. Each of us holds the spark of divine love inside us, and I consider that when asserting my own thoughts. But I'm learning that kindness, generousity and love have many faces. You'll not find a finer bunch than these women in my bookclub.

Among us are:

Christine, a divorced mother of grown children, an interior designer working at a mart showroom... she's bright, upbeat, spiritual and confident.

Kellie (above), a married mother of two little ones, working at Children's Memorial Hospital as a pediatric surgical nurse.... she's funny, smart, practical and blunt, a bit quiet, free thinker... a good mother.


Karen, former corporate woman, now a business owner of a bead store... she is intense, enthusiastic, passionate and bright.



Beth (left), divorced artist/rehabber/retail manager at a local home improvement store... she's free spirited, insightful, thoughtful, trusting, optimistic, quick to laugh.

Lauren (right), a specialist in new home sales in a new town house development... she's hard working, focused, obsessive, neat, direct, funny, impatient, intelligent and independent. ~~~~>



Kelly, a divorced mother to Kellie, and interior designer at a retail store... she's witty, brutally direct at times, particular, opinionated, politically minded, non-religious, shrewd, loyal, honest, hardnosed and endearing, a devoted grandmother and terrifed of spiders.


And this is me, enjoying the "worms" as we chatted around the table last night!

One thing it's taken me awhile to get used to ....is the fact that these are women who are very comfortable cussing... eff this, eff that... and it isn't at all unpleasant for me to be around! As a matter of fact, it seems refreshingly open and appropriate given the easy candor and ability to say anything and everything in each other's presence.

Here is something I just read... from next month's novel, "Saving Fish from Drowning".... I think it describes another viewpoint...

"Can we discuss this more rationally?" Vera said. My dear friend despised hearing people use sexual expletives for emphasis. Invoke religion instead, she'd say to those in her organization - use the "damn" and "God almighty" that show strength of conviction. Use the f-word for what it was intended, the deep down gutteral of sex. Don't bring it into arguments where hearts and heads should prevail."

The "f-word" has fans and foes. It's not a word I use. Perhaps one day it will be... who knows. I don't hate the f-word. I do think of it as a word with a literal sexual meaning, and as such, find it odd used in moments of road rage or a stubbed toe. It amuses me to hear it fly back and forth at my book club. It amuses me when someone flips me the bird as they mouth "f-you" and zoom past me on the highway. (I was only doing 80 after all.) Most swearing amuses me, rather than riles me.

(How I do ramble...)

And last but not least, our book club has a plan! In 2008 we will go on a cruise together! We will start saving now and make it a trip to remember. We have two years to plan it. It will be glorious!

I add it to my wish list, of dreams that WILL come to be....

*Dinosaur digging in Montana is on the list.

*Mooning Amtrak in California is on the list.

*And now.... a cruise with my book club is high on the list.

Life is sweet!

The naked truth about mammograms...

It's an impressive statistic they've just released that says the number of women developing breast cancer is down over 7% since 2003! One reason is an increase in mammograms (among other things).

I was one who stalled and put it off. We've all heard the jokes and horror stories. Next to childbirth, it seems to be something women are fond of talking about, down to every painful detail. And so, when the day finally came, I was dreading it.

Women everywhere... BE NOT AFRAID! The mammogram experience for me was fast, easy and best of all, painless! I've had underwire bras that pinched harder! I've had seat belts with shoulder straps that pressed worse! I'm not enormously endowed, but what I have is ample. When I thought of them being flattened like a couple of flapjacks I winced, my poor boobies!

There were four images taken. After the first, I turned to the technition and said "that's it?"... that WAS it. Piece of cake... chocolate, with whipped cream and fresh strawberry filling! It felt more like a firm love pat than anything else.

Two odd little things I did not know in advance. First, no deoderant can be worn for the test. Second, they give you little stickers with lead dots to wear over your nipples. It gives the one who reads the mammogram a reference point I was told. But it was funny, sticking those on, like miniature pasties! I wanted to draw a smiley face on mine, but resisted. (What fun it would have been to flip back the opening in the gown and have a smiley face go boing, for the technition!)

Anyway... don't hesitate, DO IT! It's so easy, and so worth it.

(And no, that is not a picture of me ... I wish!) :)