In the middle of a design presentation to a client today, lost in the moment's excitement over a perfect combination of fabrics and trims, I suddenly felt myself being held at knifepoint. The tip of the razor sharp blade was poised right between two ribs. I dare not exhale, lest my side be pierced by the weapon poking so rudely, so menacingly embedded in my flesh. Afraid to breathe, afraid to move, my stream of thought switched in an instant from total delight and accomplishment... to relentless misery and dread.
The underwire inside my bra had escaped its confinement. The escapee was free and on the loose. I was doomed. There is no way to nonchalantly rearrange my female anatomy in such a situation. It's not as if breasts can be discreetly flexed a few inches higher or lower, to the right or to the left to dodge the wayward underwire. I did what any woman might do... stood straighter, crossed my arms in an attempt to tame the beast as I squeezed my arms into my sides. The point of the underwire only increased its pressure.
And so... for the next hour, I suffered in silence, my mind half on the project at hand while the other half fantasized about what I would do to that bra the moment I was alone with it.
The underwire inside my bra had escaped its confinement. The escapee was free and on the loose. I was doomed. There is no way to nonchalantly rearrange my female anatomy in such a situation. It's not as if breasts can be discreetly flexed a few inches higher or lower, to the right or to the left to dodge the wayward underwire. I did what any woman might do... stood straighter, crossed my arms in an attempt to tame the beast as I squeezed my arms into my sides. The point of the underwire only increased its pressure.
And so... for the next hour, I suffered in silence, my mind half on the project at hand while the other half fantasized about what I would do to that bra the moment I was alone with it.
On the left... an unfortunate woman reveals the underwire that poked through right into her cleavage!Aren't they HIDEOUS! (Underwires, I mean... not breasts!)
I cannot tell you how many times this has happened. At $35 and more a pop I don't buy cheap bras. It's hard enough to wear a bra, but built as I am, going braless is not an option. Why can't it be a comfortable, "uplifting" experience in every sense of the word? This is 2007 for gosh sakes... technology being what it is, why can't the lingerie industry come up with a decent bra?
Bra manufacturers:
Don't tell me that straps are not supposed to support breasts, or that they are there to simply keep the bra in place. The grooves in my shoulders tell me otherwise!
Don't tell me I don't know how to select a bra that properly fits. I've had consultations with women trained in this, followed every guideline and I STILL have issues!
Don't tell me that the underwires have protective tips, to prevent stab wounds. I've pried more than one protective tip out of my irritated flesh.
Don't tell me that I'm not shaped like a normal woman. With my clothes off I look like a classic artist's rendition of the female form. We cannot blame men for our bra related miseries. We love pretty lingerie, we love the satin and lace and beautiful details. We love how silky smooth if feels against our skin. We love how our clothes fit when we're dressed beautifully underneath. We love to feel womanly and alluring, and pretty lingerie contributes to that. Men would be just as happy if we all went braless I suspect?
I remember the bra burning craze of the 60's and early 70's. "We've come a long way, Baby"... but why are our bras still torturing us?
If anyone wants to read a good horror story, read The History of the Bra.
You will wonder how women ever withstood the pulleys that were used to tighten a corset, or how they endured the deformed ribs and inner organs from wearing those contraptions!
You will wonder how women ever withstood the pulleys that were used to tighten a corset, or how they endured the deformed ribs and inner organs from wearing those contraptions!
I must admit I own a few of these.....::::SIGH::::..... it's hopeless
No comments:
Post a Comment